American horror story 3x05 online dating

It’s not like anybody’s sitting at home thinking “Oh my god, I’m getting a sneaking suspicion that Tina might have a hankerin’ for cock. And if you believe that, I’ve got a bridge made of lackadaisical skateboards to sell you.Shane seems unsure at first, but Cherie’s tight skirt and loose morals work their magic.I’ll skip over the inaccuracies of her pseudo-geek-speak for the moment.The point is that the interviewer is being a general fuckhead and asking illegal questions, like whether her former co-workers were okay with the fact that she’s “hard to peg” and “neither fish nor fowl.”Fuckhead. And I do mean “cue” as in a pool cue you’ve just been whacked over the head with.Instead he’s singing Bowie’s “Changes,” and I love that song (and that singer), so I’m okay with it. But then suddenly the scene changes, to Dana in front of the mirror, covering and smushing one breast to see what she’s going to look like on the other side of surgery. And just like that, we’re back to The Planet, where Alice and Lara are having an awkward moment (surprise).The rendition is not so terrible, and Alan Cumming is there to do the “Turn and face the strain.” You might just be okay, Mange. Alice is being all defensive about the speed dating, and how Dana and Lara will have a good laugh over it; Lara just mutters that Dana has bigger things on her mind. So she starts shrieking: “Can you guys come clean up your fuckin’ mess?And then Shane puts her specs on, and they work their magic on me — given the choice between Cherie’s cleavage and Shane’s specs, I’ll take the specs any day. So Shane goes back to Cherie, who’s waiting and eavesdropping and plotting.But Cherie takes them off — damn her — so she can get close and tell Shane she looks beautiful. Shane introduces them, and Carmen knows exactly who Cherie is, so she says “fuck you” and storms off. well, I can only describe it as a brief scuffle, complete with soapy dialogue: And then Shane just kinds of drops her gaze, so Carmen drops the book and stomps off (again). “She’s pretty, but not as hot as you are.” She invites Shane to “the beach” this weekend, and says Shane can even bring “the girlfriend.” And then she gives Shane a little kiss, and Shane gives her a little kiss right back, only nothing these two do together is really ever very little. It’s hard to want them to break up, but at times it’s impossible to want them to stay together.

The clothes she’s wearing probably cost more than most people in that neighborhood make in a month. But to her credit, she doesn’t seem to be feeling uneasy. There’s no music, no poltergeist tricks, just Helena sitting in a chair and Dylan straddling her and lots of sharp hot breathing and hands in hair and hands on breasts. But hey: just the other day I was thinking “What’s wrong with The L Word this season? But Dana says she doesn’t want to play tennis again: her career’s over, and she doesn’t want to teach or coach. Piddles: that’s enough mortality for one character. Then we get this brief bit of awkward humor:— which doesn’t really break the tension at all, unfortunately.

And when he talks about reconstruction, she just says no, get it off me, and it’s not hard to understand the impulse. Daddy Of2: dyke w/baby seeks real man for good fuck. There’s a lesson here, girls: do not, under any circumstance, share a computer with your partner. Oh, and if you do, for whatever crazy reason, share a computer with your partner, of your favorite IM program when you’re not actually in front of it. Tina’s assistant interrupts to say “Bette’s on 2.” Tina says “Tell her I’ll call her back.” And then the charming-yet-completely-dull guy (and I’m not saying that because he’s a guy; I’m saying that because he’s dull) sees a picture of Tina and Angelica on the desk.

Props to Erin Daniels for proving she’s not just a funny girl. He asks Tina about her husband (including asking whether he’s African-American, though not in so many words) and Tina says “I don’t have a husband” (in exactly that many words). (Admit it, that’s funny enough on its own.) And Billie Blaikie is dating himself: he’s half man, half woman, in that I’m-wearing-two-costumes way, and also just in that general way.

But the DJ’s Tireland guy in the red tank top and tight jeans and cowboy hat might have a different sort of discovery in mind. At least they’re not leering at teenage girls like most of the men in these film-school things.

As they stroll on to select a tire, we hear “Feel Like Makin’ Love,” and it’s pretty great. And by the way, the boys are named Frank and Coleman, and Frank (must I remind you) was fucking the ex-nun in last week’s episode. Sierra Hills Memorial Hospital — Dana’s getting some news. “The results of your biopsy indicate infiltrating ductal carcinoma,” says the doctor.“Ductal carcinoma,” says Dana.

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