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First, you are threatening a child, which makes them fearful of you.

Second, the threat is usually not something that is feasible to do (we are going home, you are going straight to bed, you don’t get dinner, you are grounded for a week, etc.) What we say in frustration is not only impractical but easily forgettable. You can train yourself to be clear and concise, using choices.

I will also give the Play Therapy based alternative with a short explanation of why it is more effective.

Kids hear the word “no” far too frequently (Read more about that here).

I have spent a good deal of time on articles on the difference between Praise vs. This can sometimes present itself in an argumentative manner, but this is actually a normal part of development.

This clearly communicates the expectation and the consequence, without a threat.

Parents tend to want control all of the time, and it takes work to allow kids to have freedom to do what they choose.

Telling a child that they can’t do something makes them prove that they can, by telling you or showing you that it is in fact possible.

Telling a kid to not do something makes them want to argue or rebel.

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